Our Stories

How did this initiative come to be?

We are fortunate to have Cal Newport as part of our MILTON community.  He has been thinking, writing, and speaking about these topics for quite some time, after having written Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World, which was published in February 0f 2019.  Cal began sharing his research and recommendations about digital wellness for our children with a talk in March 2023.  Later that spring, the U.S. Surgeon General issued an advisory about social media and its negative impacts on children’s mental health.  Cal has continued to share his research and guidance with the MILTON community.  

In the fall of 2023, following Cal’s talk and the U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory, MILTON parents, including Yael Friedkin, Julia Schulman, and Andrea Wolf, began spreading the word and encouraging other parents to sign the Wait Until 8th pledge to delay giving their kids their own smartphones or access to social media until after 8th grade.  The pledge includes the following language:

By signing this pledge, I promise not to give my child a smartphone until at least the end of 8th grade as long as at least 10 families total from my child’s grade and school pledge to delay the smartphone.

MILTON is now one of at least 40 local schools with active Wait until 8th pledges.

The following year, in March 2024, Jonathan Haidt published The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness.  The book gained traction among many MILTON parents and has resonated in our community.  We wanted to help organize parents and share information to help navigate these challenges together.

Why did the MPA decide to create programming around this?

The MPA is uniquely positioned to communicate with parents across the North and South campuses.  We want to provide information, resources, and community around these topics.  Parents are being pulled in so many directions and we all want the best for our children.  Many MILTON parents do not have the bandwidth to read entire books, attend in-person events at the school, or conduct personal research into tools and best practices.  We want to make resources more accessible and provide additional opportunities for both parents and students to connect.

What are your primary goals with this initiative?

We hope that families and students will gain insights into how they can make healthy choices around technology, and we also hope to build connections between families so we can share experiences and work together to support each other.

We want to make the recommendations from Cal Newport, Jonathan Haidt, and the former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy more accessible to our MILTON community and organize families who want to adopt the recommendations.  Other thought leaders, such as Dr. Delaney Ruston, also have important insights about digital safety.  We are planning additional discussions and preparing written materials and resources to share with parents and students. 

We would also love to have more parents join us (and many MILTON parents) in signing the Wait until 8th pledge! There is consensus among experts that it is important to delay giving students their own smartphones and social media until they are at least 16 years old, and that this is most effective when parents coordinate together. If you have concerns about signing, please reach out through our survey – we may consider creating our own pledge and would appreciate learning more about your concerns.

The other key piece is providing our students with more opportunities to learn, grow, and socialize in person and away from screens.  We have coordinated outdoor playdates for students, and plan to have more unstructured playground playdates, hikes, and age-appropriate opportunities for students to build independence throughout the rest of the school year.  The playdates have been fantastic!  We have seen students playing sports, running around fields, and hiking in Rock Creek! 

Finally, we recognize that this information and these recommendations may be overwhelming.  Many of us have relied heavily on technology in our homes, especially having lived through COVID.  We are all stretched in many directions and making changes can be hard.  We want to ensure that all parents in our community feel supported as they navigate their choices around these issues.

Parents and students enjoy an unstructured playdate in October.

Could you provide some details of Cal’s talks with students and parents?

Cal met with Middle School families and Elementary School parents and shared his recommendations, which are slightly different from Jonathan Haidt’s: 

• Delay smartphones until High School (use other phones for logistics)
• Delay social media until 16
• No unmonitored iPad use (they are just less convenient smartphones)
• Avoid free video games
• Control use of video games similarly to TV (no playing with strangers)

Based on his research and his two books, Digital Minimalism and Deep Work, Cal also spoke directly to Middle School students, advising them to work on the following skills:

• Practice concentration/“lock-in” – being able to concentrate without distractions
• Upgrade your brain by reading – reading rewires the brain
• Develop discipline – build skills by long term investments like learning an instrument
• Invest in community – spend time with people in your school, synagogue, or other community groupings

Parents had questions and Cal generously answered questions for an hour after ending his presentation.

Cal Newport presents on digital minimalism to Middle School students and families.

Any other resources to share?

Stay tuned! We are working on preparing several written materials and additional meetings – both in-person and virtual.  We hope to set a series of meetings to provide parents with a non-judgmental framework for thinking about their families’ tech use.  We want to help parents to think about whether their families’ tech use is working for them and is in line with their values, without unnecessary layers of blame and shame.  We also plan to send resources for setting up parental controls and some short materials for parents and students who attended Cal’s talks but want a reference, or for parents who have not been able to attend.

In November, we will be sharing some information about helping students get more sleep by making some small changes, like removing tech from their bedrooms, or removing tech at least 30 minutes before bedtime.   

If you are planning to delay smartphones, there are many alternatives!  In addition to portable smartphone alternatives, you might consider a fun landline option, like the Tin Can phone, featured in a Washington Post Article, Parents are Bringing Back the Landline on Sept. 30.  Tin Can will honor an additional $15 discount for MILTON Families.  Just include the code GHT with any purchase.  Stay tuned for more resources on smartphone alternatives.

Anything else?

We have updated our Growing Healthier Together Survey to better understand how we can help and to allow parents to let us know the best way to reach them.  If you are a current parent, please take a moment to fill out this short survey if you’d like to learn more or get involved. Please also consider joining our WhatsApp group!  We will be sharing resources with the WhatsApp group more regularly than through Hashavua, so for now it’s the best way to get information and resources about this initiative.  

Lastly, we want to recognize all of the ways that MILTON is partnering with us in incorporating the latest research to support our students’ growth and learning by taking a mindful approach to technology.